I'm about to embark on my last EVER term at university. Although this excites me, it also makes me shudder with nerves and quite frankly makes me want to vomit!
On the one hand I can't wait to be fully independent and have a place of my own that I can share with people I actually want to live with and don't constantly have to clean up after. (Well...one can hope)
I can't wait to be earning a proper wage for the first time in my life and start saving and planning for things I've always wanted to do.
I can't wait to meet someone and have a grown up relationship where you go out for dinner and talk about work. You can even do the 'your place or mine' line as there will actually be a place for said date to go back to! (Not sure why I wrote this point down as I'm probably going to live alone with cats forever and ever)
I absolutely love journalism and I genuinely do not know what else I would've done if I hadn't come to uni to study it for three years. It's cemented my ambitions to work in the world of media one way or another, and no matter how many people or news reports tell me I won't end up getting a job to do with my degree......ONE DAY, I will!
This past year has also further sparked my passion for London. I worked at Reveal Magazine for a week in the summer, and being able to go to an office just off of Oxford Street was quite simply amazing. It's where I need to be, and I will get there.
I'm also going to America this summer to work at a summer camp for 8 or 9 weeks and then travel afterwards. I've always been fascinated by the States but I could never afford to go there just on a whim, so this way I get to work and live over there for a bit.
Sounds like I've got it all planned out right? SO wrong!
I may know what I want to do, and I've got plans for the summer, but this doesn't mean it's all going to work out. When I come back from America I will literally feel lost. It's like starting all over again but this time I'll be completely alone!
Before now, I've sort of known exactly what to do. You go to school, you stay on and do your A levels and then you go to Uni. Up until then you're practically guaranteed to get where you want just by studying hard and passing those crucial exams.
But in the real world, it's all age, appearance, personality, knowledge and experience. What if I never have enough experience for the job I want to go for? What if I never even get to the interview stage?! I can kiss goodbye to living in London!
My family keep telling me not to worry, and that I'll get there and it'll all be fine. But the more I think about it the more I worry if I really will be fine. I don't want to be 25 and still searching for a job I actually enjoy.
Life is a funny thing, you can never predict what will happen and I guess that's part of the fun. But at this stage of my life I really just wish someone could give me a hint in to whether things are going to go bad or good....? Please?